I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
