is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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