we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
