How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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