would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
