I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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