dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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