i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
