I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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