Sponge bath it is.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
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