nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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