He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
So much rum. So many feels.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
