You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
