Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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