that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
3 2 1 whiskey
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
