I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
