Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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