she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
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