There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize