I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
