Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
And then my night got REAL pukey
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
