Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Is it penis luge time yet?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
