do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize