just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Dignity is for republicans.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
