she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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