i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
