You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize
