my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
