if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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