The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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