Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Just cropdusted the office
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
