don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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