His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize