please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
