we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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