I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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