I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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