he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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