Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
