I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
