hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
