i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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