that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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