What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I look better un-naked...
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
