He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
And then my night got REAL pukey
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
