evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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