i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
