You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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