ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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