your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
