Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
