I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
