are you still at the devil's house?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
