Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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