I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
