Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Farmville is her only friend.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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