I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
