dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize